Category — Rants

Yeah, so. I have about 4 or 5 blog posts writing themselves in my head. At the same time. And each of them are 4 sentences long, which isn’t a blog post. WTF.

You know what that is, though. A blog post of random shit. So here we go. Ready? Okay! (I always wanted to be a cheerleader but the skirts were too short for my bigass and flabby thighs and I am also way uncoordinated, so… I pretend.) [Read more →]

First I have to give a shout out to everyone who was so supportive yesterday. I feared a lot of ‘be thankful you even HAVE a dad!’ and ‘at least your dad wants to see you’, kinds of comments, which, I suppose would be fair to leave but I still wouldn’t want to see/read/deal with them. So thanks for sensing the kind of support I needed and givin’ it to me!

Second, yesterday sucked. I got out of work early on the premise that I was going to see my dad. I went to the salon instead. Well, I tried to go to the salon. It seems like everytime I go, I get lost. I take the wrong exit every fricken time. There are 2 exits to Highway5 in Canton. I always take the first and it’s the wrong one. Or I completely drive past it and end up in freaking Chattanooga. Not really, it’s Woodstock but may as well be Tennessee! [Read more →]

So… riddle me this…

I don’t watch either show with any sense of regularity, so maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about, but… was the Tonight Show with Jay Leno really that good?

Good enough that after only 7 months of Conan being in the Big Chair, and Jay doing a deplorable version of… uhmmmmm what I understood was the same damn show, just at 10pm, that they just reversed the entire deal? Canceled Jay’s sucktastic show, gave him back the Tonight Show, and ousted Conan? Allegedly, this is what is happening.

How……….how is this right? Am I not understanding some far fetched reason? Is this just show business?

It seems like NBC has been screwing people over for decades. When I was growing up, the big deal was that Letterman was mad that he didn’t get the Tonight Show. I daresay that was nearly 20 years ago. Then Conan struck a deal in 2004 to take over the show in 2009.  Jay was going to retire. Jay didn’t know this?  Was this some sort of surprise?

So, Jay didn’t want to retire. NBC gave him another show. That’s basically the Tonight Show for people who can’t stay up late. It was awful, all three or four times I watched. Sucked so bad NBC canceled it. Okay. Uh. So. It would seem to me that Jay is out of a job, then. How does this turn into Jay going back to the Tonight Show? Allegedly.

I don’t mind either of them but wow, Jay is looking like a purebred asshole in all of this. I just wonder if NBC has him over the same barrell that he has Conan over. I mean… there’s a whole new set and new staff. Does the staff stay? The set?

Clusterf*ck. I mean, really!

Ugh. I’ve kind of always wanted to work in Entertainment. It’s the glitz I love, but I love the backside too. Unfortunately sometimes the backside is real dirty. Needs a good wipe. Ew. Horrible analogy. Sorry about that!

Sometimes I just don’t like people. I just don’t. A lot of times it’s because sometimes things come out of their mouths that are so…………..mindboggling.

One of the blogs I follow through my handy dandy google reader is Lost in Brook Lynne. I love to read blogs by people who engage me, make me think without trying to sound smart or deep or introspective by spouting off things no one else understands. I recently found Brook and enjoy her posts and perspective. So, in her most recent post, entitled “I beg your pardon?” and I kinda have to agree. Really? Really.

She writes:

“I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship. … Neither Brad nor I have ever claimed that living together means being chained together. We make sure that we never restrict each other.” -Angelina Jolie.

Well, well, well. Let me find out, Miss Angelina. I won’t say if I agree or disagree, because I am not married, nor in an exclusive relationship. But, I will say, as of late, women are willing to do more and more to keep a relationship together. Including but not limited to, being more lenient with infidelity.

-blink blink-

Oh well, the quote makes it seem as though she is doing her thing too. So, in case you’re wondering how this glorious happy couple works, there you have it.

Scary, right?

(source)

Yeah. Scary isn’t quite the word for it. So, really… I could meet a man, have his kids, even adopt some kids with him and be totally happy… all I have to do to keep up the bliss is not marry him and give him the freedom to cheat? And I get to cheat, too?

BONUS!!! SIKE.

If that’s being happy in a relationship…. Singlehood, FTMFW.

Not only scary but really disheartening. More and more I’m afraid/convinced/100percentpositive that what I want (fidelity, loyalty, love unconditionally, best friend, all that) doesn’t exist. Not when this is out there and we let people think this is how people make it work. This is how happy couples survive. This is how it’s done.

Another of my fave couples, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are rumored to follow the same policy– open marriage. I just can’t… iCan’t. I’m a good sharer– of crayons and play dough and toys. Not of people. I’m selfish with people. Especially people I feel I could spend my life with. Everyday I am faced with something new that says, ‘sure he’ll be with you, but not just with YOU‘.

These things are getting hard to ignore.

Finderskeepers, No Takebacks, man.

Years ago, when I decided to move to Atlanta, I had visions of mild winters. Endless sunny days, blistering heat, summers so hot the waves would emanate from the pavement. Pleasant autumn days, full of bursts of color and crisp, clean air. Winters that were near tropical in their warmth… light sweaters and jackets in December. I dreamt of such a thing every night when I went to bed, looking forward to the long drive to Georgia from Washington. It pushed me, spurred me on,  so to speak.

Yeah, so cut to every winter since 2003:

It is currently about 30 degrees in Atlanta. I walked out to go to work and my car was frosted over like an ice cube. Thankfully I don’t live far from work, because it took about 10 minutes of blowing hot air through the vents at the windshield to get it clear enough to drive. Soon after, the windows were de-iced and I was on my way. Most of the body of the car was still frosty when I pulled into work.I refuse to buy an ice scraper. Because that would mean that this kind of thing is normal and expected and something I should be prepared for.

I am unamused, at this.

This is the south, home of ridiculously hot weather. We’re supposed to be able to brag about how warm it is while other states freeze. I heard from KFlo that it was 37 degrees in Houston. That’s just insane, to me!

Now look. I know other people have it worse. And that’s them. I do feel for them, because it’s COLD HERE. It matters because it’s not SUPPOSED to be COLD HERE!  *shiver*

So, I’m off to locate a gallon of hot chocolate and heat it to lava temperatures and suck it down like my life depends on it. Because it just might. IT’S COLD HERE!

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,

It’s Monday, again. How does that keep happening?

Thankfully it is a short week, because the last few weeks have been long and hectic and busy. Which I love, but it makes me crave some good old fashioned slow time. Here’s to hoping it will be quiet and peaceful. Boss is at our TX location this week and then off Wed-end of the week, so there’s a good chance of that. Yay.

So, some thoughts. Instead of spewing them all over twitter, I’ll just post them here. Then I can stop thinking them and go on with my life.

1. AMA’s missed them. On purpose. I dislike awards shows, mostly because I don’t have the attention span to sit through artists/comedians/actors I don’t know or recognize or don’t give a rip about. Also because Award shows have weird practices in which I rarely think the choices are genuine. Sometimes people win because of personal politics. Sometimes people win because it’s good PR.

And sometimes people win because they died — I’m looking at you Michael Joseph Jackson. I’m as big a fan as anyone, but what, exactly did MJ release this year that was worthy of being nominated let alone winning an AMA this year? Nothing. For example, the album that sold millions of copies this year was released in 2003. HOW is that eligible? That album can’t even register on the regular pop chart! Do I think it’s incredible that his music is still selling? YES. Do I miss his musical inspiration and do I feel we’ve lost a legend? Yes. Should his nomination and awards take away from artists who were busting their asses recording and touring while he wasn’t? No. Number Ones shouldn’t have even been eligible for nomination. Not to mention that there’s so much fanfare, now that he’s gone, that he would have loved to see when he was alive. It’s a shame that we don’t honor people more in life. We wait till they’re dead and then heap meaningless awards on them.

While I’m on the AMA’s, lemme just say– I’m not a Taylor Swift fan at all. She reminds me of debut Avril Lavigne, all in the voice. In fact, I heard her song on the radio once and asked V when Avril was going to stop singing about high school, so don’t think this rant is about her musical talent. I’m SICK of reading how Taylor needs to thank Kanye for all of her exposure. Taylor doesn’t need to thank Kanye for ****. She had ALREADY WON THAT AWARD when he showed his ass. She had already been on Ellen, had already sold millions of albums, had already topped the country charts. Let’s not reward Kanye’s assholish behavior by saying he made her a star– she already WAS one. I’ve never seen more grace under fire than I’ve seen from Taylor, so people who are on her behind need to back the truck up. Cause I said so!

2. I think I am going to go on a diet. Stop laughing! Really. So here’s the deal: I always manage to lose about 15 lbs between Nov and the beginning of the year, because I’m not that big of a holiday food eater. I’ll have a plate or two over the entire season, but I can’t handle days on end of turkey and stuffing and potatoes and gravy, and then pies and cakes and cookies and candy– I just can’t do it. I’m not a holiday eater, really.  

I think I am either going to have to figure out a way to tie myself to the bandwagon, or accept myself as fat and move on to being great in some other way. Maybe I will never see a single digit size in my lifetime. Maybe I will never be svelte and thin. Maybe I will always have ‘too much junk in the trunk’ and ‘too much booty in the pants’.  But then I look at myself and know that I have issues with how much weight I am carrying. I don’t like what I see and I don’t want to be here. I, however, can’t figure out a way to keep myself committed to healthy eating.

I was chatting about this topic with Skinnyemmie’s Emily Sandford last week. She was in Atlanta for work, and it was wonderful to put a face to a name that I’ve been talking to online for such a long time. She said, and it really resonated with me, “If you’re not ready to do it, it won’t stick. So don’t waste your time. Eat what you want and enjoy it. When you’re ready, it’ll happen.” I’m trying to decide if I’m ready.

3. Uhm. Is anyone aware that November 30th is NEXT WEEK?  What is November 30th, you ask? Have you not been paying any attention to me at all?

NaNoWriMo ends Nov 30th. By that point, all participants will have been expected to achieve at least a 50,000 word count and, best case scenario a finished piece. I passed the 50K mark on November 15th. I have not, however, finished my piece. Honestly I would say I’m just over halfway done. I realized that I was unable to move on because my story is missing a big chunk called………STORY. I was trying to skip a chunk of time in my storyline. It didn’t work. So I spent the weekend writing some filler– in fact I still have half a chapter of filler to write. Since I’ve already hit 50K, I haven’t really followed the ‘don’t edit, just write’ rule. At this point, I want it to make sense and not end lame. So, it would appear that I have 7 days to make that happen in order to meet my own deadline. Wow.

Uh. I hope I make it.

So, since I have work to do, I guess I will stop ranting and get to work. And by work I mean writing. I love when Boss is out!

Remember this scene, from Office Space?

I’m feelin’ some kinda way like that, with regard to this little space I call my online home. I SO want to blog. I really want to be deep and introspective, and I want to say things that people repeat, and I want to affect lives and bring change or at least bring some laughs and let people know they aren’t alone and aren’t (totally) nuts.

Blog posts write themselves in my head, all day. Sometimes I say things out loud, in the car or at work and think ‘man, I should blog that’. I just never get around to  it. And then I get here and I can’t think of a damn thing to say. And then I look and see when was the last time I had anything to say, and it’s been so long that I simply confirm to myself that I have nothing to say, and close the page.

I can’t bring myself to get rid of this blog, though. I really feel like I need to put effort toward putting my feelings out there, saying my piece, speaking my mind.

So, maybe a list:

1. I like my job but I’m worried about it. Constantly. There are no signs that I’m losing my job, or anything. My boss seems to like me, a lot. I feel empowered and valued and valuable. I just…. I worry all the time about things like this.

2. The ‘Maintenance Required’ light is already on, in the car. What in the effing eff? It better not be expensive. I haven’t even NAMED the car. Just made my first car payment and my first increased insurance payment (the diff between insurance on the hooptie and the newbie), finally got my plate and tags n’ such on. She is officially MINE. I don’t want no trouble!

3.  Johnny Depp is the Sexiest Man Alive? Really? Sorry kids, I love Johnny but he always looks like he needs a shower, to me. Just my opinion, but he’s aight. I do have much different tastes than most of the people I know, though.

4.  Sammy Sosa and his excuse that he used a moisturizing cream and it lightened his skin can kick rocks. Like I said the other day on twitter:  I love me some Bon Jovi and Duran Duran and Nsync. I also love my color and my heritage and my culture. The TODAY show did a special on people who lighten their skin, on purpose.  I’m pretty sure I’m naive on this front (and many others)  but OHMYGOD, PEOPLE DO THIS ON PURPOSE? Because they don’t want to be “dark”?  I just… I can’t.

5. Mothers who sell their children into prostitution for drugs who are now HIV positive and pregnant… I can’t. I cannot listen to a word of what was done to precious Shaniya. I’m devastated whenever a child is missing and then found dead. My heart just cries at the thought. I want everyone who even thought of being involved to burn in hell. >insert Sam Jackson face from a Time to Kill.

6. I’m doing NaNoWriMo. This stands for National Novel Writing Month. I hit the minimum 50,000 word goal. I haven’t finished the story. When I finish it, I’ll let ya’ll know. I’d say it’s about 50 to 60 % done, and since I hit the word goal I’m already a WINNAH so I don’t feel a ton of pressure to finish the thing in November. Though I do really want to.  Oh, you want a synopsis? Well. *blush*.  Alright.

My story is called Same Time Next Week and it is loosely based on the film Same Time NextYear, about an adulterous couple who meet one weekend a year for 26 years. Except my story is about a couple who meet once a week, who are both running away from something and use each other to escape. They have every intention of keeping it casual– outside of the one day a week they get together, they don’t talk or text or spend time with each other. They let things build and then spend their time together— together. The more time they spend with each other, the closer they get and the more they want something more than casual, but there are secrets  that have to be told and pasts that have to be faced and bared in order for that to happen. Neither side is willing to trust completely and risk the other not accepting them for who they truly are. What could turn into a perfect match is threatened when one secret explodes into existence in the worst way possible. Will a shocking revelation tear them apart, or bring them together? Dun dun duuunnnnn. Yeah, I dunno. I’ll let ya’ll know when it’s done.

7. I haven’t lost any weight. I haven’t been back to any of the dance classes. I’m lazy and a slacker. I haven’t gained any weight, but I haven’t lost any either. I’m seriously considering getting some kind of help. I don’t know what kind, but it doesn’t involve surgery. And really, I’m just going to be blunt. I don’t want suggestions.

8. I MAY be addicted to Twitter. Here’s the thing: I don’t really care. So, there it is.

9. I don’t date. The reasons are varied and various and I just don’t have the energy to go into it right now, but that will be a future blog post. Maybe. Meh. I doubt anyone is concerned about why an overweight nerdy homebody doesn’t date… seems like that question answers itself, doesn’t it?

10. I’m following a couple of cool chicks on twitter, who blog, so I wanna pimp ‘em because I love them. They make me want to be a better blogger:

Mocha Momma

Tex in the City

The Bloggess

The Single Dame (for the grown and sexy, only! )

okay. My boss is like ‘do this, do that, wake up,’ and stuff, so I’m out. Have a super day, blog and COMMENT. I want to know what you think about what I think and we can talk and discuss. What do you want to hear about? Do you like me? Do you think I’m pretty?

You don’t have to answer the last two. I’m just playin’.

Unless you’re gonna do it……..

I was thinking about a couple of news/entertainment events and so I’ve decided to consolidate my thoughts into a concise post of chaos, which may involve pointing and laughing at stupid people. Ready? Let’s go:

1. They Did What? (aka These Chicks Need Some Serious Therapy)

Unless you live under a rock (and I sometimes do) you’ve heard about these… ladies… that lured a man to a hotel room, held him hostage, and then superglued himself to himself. And in case you didn’t hear, you can read all about it.

Really? I mean…. really? First of all, I guess I am a jaded (I prefer REAL) individual, because I am totally not surprised that a dude was cheating on one woman with three others. I mean, not that I expect it or anything but I must hear two or three stories of infidelity a day, so… yeah. Okay? You find out your dude is sleeping around with more than one other chick and go a lil off the deep end.

My feeling is that I would have to be some kind of crazy to hatch a plan like this and go along with it.  Sure, my girls and I would get some cheesecake or some chicken wings (different situations call for different foods!) and we’d sit down and hash it out and be mad and say all the things we wished we could do.  But then we would build a bridge and get the Hell over it, dump him, move on, get our revenge by living well and all that good stuff.  Lure a dude to a hotel, hold him hostage, GLUE HIMSELF TO HIMSELF?

Doing too much. [Read more →]

So, I’m snuggling down in the bed and on TLC is “My Husband’s Three Wives”. Wife #1 says she met dude in college. And when he proposed he said “I don’t picture myself as being monogamous.”

Here is where I scratch my head. WHY ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED IF YOU’RE NOT PLANNING ON BEING FAITHFUL?!

Mkay, so she goes on to say, “I figured that meant that he’d probably cheat during our marriage sometime. And I figured that would be something I could deal with.”

Color me traditional and full of high esteem of myself, but WHAT?

So now he’d like to marry a third woman. He already has 11 children between the two women. He’s raising boys to believe this way.  To believe that women are pretty much just a collection of people you gather because you like them.

And might I say, while dude is talking, there is a mounted head of a deer on the wall behind him. That speaks volumes to me. My father is an AVID hunter. I mean AVID. And he has no animal heads. Really. Dude is singing a song about himself having three wives and eleven children. That he wrote himself. Isn’t he talented?

*hurls*

This, my friends, is what the world consists of, these days. These are the people making a mockery of marriage and ruining the institution and all that jazz. If you’re married, be thankful, because if you WANTED to get married, this guy is pretty much what’s left.

I guess he liked it so he put a ring on it. Three of them. SOFAKING annoyed by it.

About Joe Bob Cadillac’s STIMULUS PACKAGE Car sale or Susie Ann’s Cosmetics BAILOUT Lipgloss Sale I am going to SCREAM.

LOUD. And BITE people.

I’m not a doom and gloom kind of person. I’m not. I won’t be uttering the word Depression anytime soon and I only say ‘We’re In a Recession’ when I’m joking. Truly. Perhaps that’s some head-in-the-sandness, but whatevs. It’s how I deal. So, I’m not intensely negative about the economy,

HOWEVER… People are losing jobs and homes and health care and retirement funds. It is a scary time, for America.

NOW isn’t quite the time to be capitalizing on it. Have a sale, go ahead. Someone has some money, somewhere. They’ll buy your stuff. STOP using those terms to sell your crap!!!

It PISSES me off.

…because all I did was wear my hear down today instead of up in a bun, and put on powder and lip gloss and I got so many compliments. I don’t even think I looked all that good, really.

Eff them, man. Eff them and their compliments.

Dear Majic 107.5,

First things first. MAJIC? Seriously? What doesn’t Magic Johnson own, and did you think you would just slide that right by us by changing the ‘g’ to a ‘j’? Clever.*

Secondly, your format is Urban AC. Urban Adult Contemporary. GOSPEL is not Urban AC. If I wanted to hear everyone’s mass choir sing ‘Jesus is Real’, I would go home and listen to my mom’s iPod.

Please to be playing some Kool & The Gang followed by MotownPhilly and Doin Da Butt. And if you could fit in some Skee-lo, I will get OUT of the car and dance. “I wish I was a little bit taller/ I wish I was a baller/ I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her” Good stuff, man. Play it!

Thanks.

* I’ve no proof that Magic owns the station. He just owns everything else, so. *shrug*. In an unrelated matter, he’s doing radio commercials for H&R Block. Interesting. The connection between NBA and Tax filing is just… so natural.