Kirstie Alley Returns To The Small Screen With “Big Life“

February 6, 2010 8:58 a.m. EST

Los Angeles, CA, United States (CNS) – Kirstie Alley has been on and off television screens with her sitcoms and magazine covers with her highly-publicized weight issues. But now she’s combining the two for a new reality show, “Kirstie Alley’s Big Life.”

Set to premiere on A&E in March, “Kirstey Alley’s Big Life” is the first reality show starring the Golden Globe and Emmy Award-winner, although her critically acclaimed Showtime hit “Fat Actress” was based on her life as well.

In her new show, cameras follow Alley as she battles weight loss, single parenting, love, and the limelight. The new show also shows Alley as launches her new weight loss company and brand.

“This show has been cathartic for me…shown me who I really am…again,” Alley said. “And it’s really freaking funny.”
“Kirstie Alley’s Big Life” premieres Sunday, March 21st at 10pm ET/PT on A&E with back-to-back episodes.

Really?

So I’m sitting here watching TV, minding my own business, when my regularly scheduled obsessive marathon of Criminal Minds (subliminal message: Matthew Gray Gubler, NEVER cut your hair!)  is interrupted by views of Kirstie Alley on a couch talking about men and life and licking things.

And I’m thinking, is this some kind of deja vu? Haven’t I been here before? Haven’t I seen this before? Wasn’t there… yes. Yes, I saw it the first time when it was called Fat Actress.

Now she’s back with Kirstie’s Big Life. Really? It’s really not Fat Actress except on A&E and not Showtime, where people have to pay for programming and therefore won’t pay to watch things like Kirstie Alley talk with John Travolta about how she’s fat?

Oh, Kirstie. You were always one of my faves, you know. Back when you gave that acceptance speech and thanked your husband for ‘giving you the big one for 8 years‘, and then when you had that show in NBC where you got to wear lingerie and hang out with Kathy Najimy and cute gay men. And even when you signed up to hawk Jenny Craig, I was rooting for you.

And then when you finished your Jenny stint, you looked fabulous. You looked like you felt fabulous. But the weight was coming back, already. I’m sure of it. Because I, and you, and a lot of people, when we lose weight, we get cocky and self assured. We start eating things that were not part of our regular eating plan, because we’re thin, now. We can eat like thin people, because thin people eat everything, right?

We never learned that the hardest part of losing weight is saying no to that stuff you probably shouldn’t keep shoving into your mouth. We never figure out that the hardest part of losing weight isn’t losing the weight. It’s keeping the weight off. And then when it creeps back on, pound by pound, and your clothes are growing tighter and smaller and you’re blaming it on the dryer or the dry cleaner or your cycle, or really heavy molecules in the air, you realize that losing the weight was probably the easiest part of losing weight.

And wow. To quoth the good Doctor Phil, nee McGraw,”How’s that workin’ out for ya?”

Not so well, for Kirstie. Yeah, It didn’t work for me, either. I’m trying to learn that lesson at the outset, this time around.

SO LISTEN.

Here’s the thing. I said the same thing about the Jack5ons documentary… I’m not even going to pretend that I’m not going to watch it. I’m just going to complain every time it comes on and pick on people while I watch it. That will make me feel good about this reality TV thing I keep trying not to get sucked into. I normally, really don’t watch a lot of reality unless it’s documentary style.

Or apparently if it’s five used-to-be-famous-only-still-famous-cause-of-their-last-names-but-can’t-sing-Jacksons.

Or if it’s Kirstie Alley.

I said I liked her. GEEZ.