Curvy Jones on: Enough about me. What do YOU think about me?

I’m sort of halfassing this ‘getting back on the dating horse’ thing. Last week I sort of wandered around the internet, pretending I wasn’t looking at dating sites, while out of the corner of my eye, doing searches at random sites. There’s a couple places I am never going back to, ever again. Yahoo! is one of them. I’ll never do eHarmony again. And I think Plentyoffish has PlentyofLosers. I don’t even know why I am looking online– I sort of am not interested in dating anyone from an online dating site. I guess I am just testing the waters. Checking it out.

So this weekend, I was pretending to not be at Chemistry.com and I was also not at all taking their personality test and also didn’t fill out a profile. And after I didn’t do any of that, I got a neat little page that said basically what kind of person I am and what my best traits are.

I find these things pretty interesting. Not that I don’t know myself, but how I can answer some questions and it can spit out something that really, seriously sounds like me. I know, it’s probably a bunch of bunk. It stays very basic and is a lot like me in the way that the Zodiac description of an Aries is ‘a lot like me’. Basically, there are exceptions to every rule and I of course have a few.

And yeah, Chemistry costs the same as eHarmony.  I did happen to notice that while I wasn’t looking. Probably why I haven’t paid anything. That and the matches they’ve sent me (already more than eH sent me but still)?

>_< That’s my crankyface. Sometimes I see people and I know why they’re on an online dating sites.  [/mean]

So anyway. The here profile said some stuff that I wanted to take note of, maybe keep in mind. First of all I am, apparently, a Negotiator first, Builder second.

With Negotiator as your primary type, you can be:

• Good at seeing the big picture
• Empathetic
• Imaginative
• Trusting
• Intuitive
• Introspective

All relatively true. Basic, but true.

With Builder as your secondary type, you can be:

• Traditional
• Patient
• Social
• Community Oriented
• Loyal
• Orderly
• Skilled Verbally
• Dependable

I am not so much on the patience and I can be social, it just doesn’t come naturally. The other is pretty dead on.

About your personality

You are interested in the big picture. You like to examine large, ambiguous issues and ideas. You carefully weigh all of the variables involved, connect disparate facts in novel ways and regularly come up with imaginative solutions to complex problems. You see holistically and can be visionary.

You are friendly and humane. You have a big heart; you tend to trust people and sympathize with them easily. You intuitively know what they are thinking and feeling. And because you are agreeable and mentally flexible, you go out of your way to make others comfortable and happy. You seek to make intimate, meaningful friendships.

Your empathy and altruism spill over into a desire to make the world a better place. And with your resilience and imagination, your ability to do many things at the same time, your people skills and your command of language, you can be remarkably effective at improving the lives of others.

You are also traditional. You have clear moral values and tend to stick to your point of view. Yet you almost always seek consensus and harmony, and are willing to give up some of your pleasures to build an orderly, harmonious home and family life.

Yup. I mean, what else can I say? Also basic but me to the core.

Relating to others

You tend to be well-adjusted, trusting, compassionate, intuitive and interested in people. And you work to keep your networks intact. You also look in as well as out; you are introspective. And you like probing the meanings of life. So you avoid casual chit-chat. You can be so agreeable that some people may overlook your complex personality.

I wouldn’t say I work to keep my network intact… that’s something I sort of stopped doing because I always felt like I was the only one working, the only one that cared. I hate running after people and begging them to be my friend, so I don’t do it anymore.

In love and relationships

You are a die-hard romantic, and you must have depth and meaning in your relationships. You like heart-to-heart exchanges that explore personal philosophies, goals, ethical dilemmas, and the meanings behind art, music, poetry or some other abstract topic. You are emotionally expressive and want your partner to share his or her genuine self with you. You also admire people who make plans and schedules. And you are attracted to a mate with a fixed moral compass. Moreover, for you, love must be embedded in a stable long-term relationship beginning with a march down the aisle. Most important, to balance your imaginative and supple spirit, you gravitate to people who know their own mind, make decisions quickly, focus on one thing at a time and can provide a stable home. And you can be very sensitive to your mate, communicating your emotions clearly and tenderly.

I highlighted genuine self, because that is really important to me. There is this dating phenomenon out there, where people are on their very best behavior for a few months, and then the real ‘them’ comes out. It happened with FK. It happens to everyone. Hell, it might happen to me. I think one of the reasons dating makes me SO TIRED is that I work overtime trying to be charming and delightful. I wish we could all just be ourselves, from the gate. Our genuine selves. I don’t want to meet or fall in love with your ‘representative’. Put him away. Give me you, because that’s the you I’m going to have to be with for a considerable amount of time. I want to know You as soon as possible.

In case I need to feel special, it tells me that the following people are also negotiators:

• Katie Holmes
• Leo Tolstoy
• Oprah Winfry
• Bill Clinton

Well that’s just… that’s just fine.

What the profile doesn’t tell me is who is best suited for me. It tells me what I have in common with people that they match me with, which is cool.  Though, I sort of feel like I am an “opposites attract” kind of person. Most of my friends have traits that I admire that I don’t have, interests that I don’t have, viewpoints that I don’t have. I guess I am more interested in seeing how the other half lives than in finding someone exactly like me. I don’t want to date me. I want us to accent each other.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Curvy Jones is a northerner playing a southerner who is living, working, playing in metro Atlanta.

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Tags:  2010 · dating · dating sites · personality tests