Curvy Jones on: RIP, Ms. Sugarbaker. Give ‘em hell, up in heaven.

Wow. I’m saddened to hear the news that Dixie Carter, most famous for her role as the feisty, spicy, preachy Julia Sugarbaker, has died at the age of 70.

I was a faithful Designing Women fan, never missed it in original runs and watched it in syndication with my mom for years. I was obsessed with the southern gentility of these women and at the time I was naive enough to think that all Atlantans were like the ladies that sat around this tastefully classy mansion-cum-design firm.  I think, even back then, I knew I wanted to live in Atlanta. There was something delightfully antebellum about them all, and since I’ve recently discovered I am a fan of historical fiction, I guess DW sort of fits the bill. It was so very Gone With the Wind.

I identified most with Suzanne, the former beauty queen who lost so much of her identity when she gained weight. Charlene was always adorably trustful and wide eyed with a soft voice and lovely accent. I always thought of her as the South’s answer to Golden Girl’s Rose Nyland. I loved Mary Jo, struggling single mother trying to raise two kids the right way (one of my favorite epis is when Mary Jo was trying to decide if she should get breast enhancements. Hilarious!). The world was introduced to Meschach Taylor (I’m sure I butchered his name!) as Anthony, a delivery driver with a heart of gold and a checkered past, and who was just as much a part of the family as everyone else was. And as much as I really cannot stand Julia Duffy (she is the same person in every. single. show. UGH), I must admit she did a stand-up job playing the character we despise and hate to love, Allison Sugarbaker (who would come after Delta Burke left the show).

No other character, at least in my mind, was more loved or revered or quoted than Dixie Carter’s Julia Sugarbaker. She was beautiful and sexy and yet matronly. She commanded and received respect, often issuing her famous minutes long diatribes (LORD how did she memorize them!?) without so much as a foul word. There are times when I am caught up in a conflict and Julia Sugarbaker comes to mind. It is, indeed, a highly desired skill to give a dress-down, exposing your true feelings of upset and disappointment without so much as a crass word. Most times, she never even raised her voice. I know with me, if I’m not yelling and screaming, I’m not just mad. It goes so much deeper than mad…I’m furious. It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for!

There’s been this recurring “Have You Seen My Childhood” theme going around in my head for the last two years, as the world has lost entertainers that we grew up with (we as in, us people in our 30′s and 40′s, not you young whippersnappers) and those who are my age and younger.  I still can’t believe we said goodbye to the legendary Michael Jackson and the lovely Farrah Fawcett on the same day. Corey Haim, Brittany Murphy, and DJ AM should all still be here with us, but they’re gone.  Bea Arthur and Patrick Swayze hit especially hard.

Dying is a part of life, a part of the cycle. I get that. I don’t know these people… I get that too. I also get that film and television and movies make it a point to insinuate themselves into our lives, to become a part of us, to wind themselves into our very fabric. The characters, the notes, the lyrics become our friends, our confidantes. We feel like we know them. We feel close to them. They aren’t real, to us… so we never imagine that they’ll go away. So when they’re gone, we miss them more because never imagined life without them. In our minds, they’d always be there. To me, it speaks to the fallibility of humans. Death makes celebrities real people. They live. And they die.

I leave you with one of my absolute favorite Julia moments.  She was always such a supportive Mama Bear, coming to the aid of the less stable but just as spicy sister. In this clip, Julia talks about the real ‘Night the lights when out in Georgia‘. My favorite part is when Suzanne overhears Julia giving this beauty pageant contestant that had talked about her sister a … talking to. What a proud moment it must be to hear someone you love sing your praises!

Rest in Peace, Ms. Sugarbaker. Give ‘em hell, up in heaven.

Curvy Jones is a northerner playing a southerner who is living, working, playing in metro Atlanta.

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Tags:  2010 · Saying Goodbye