Curvy Jones on: Pop Culture

by Curvy Jones on August 6th, 2009

I was thinking about a couple of news/entertainment events and so I’ve decided to consolidate my thoughts into a concise post of chaos, which may involve pointing and laughing at stupid people. Ready? Let’s go:

1. They Did What? (aka These Chicks Need Some Serious Therapy)

Unless you live under a rock (and I sometimes do) you’ve heard about these… ladies… that lured a man to a hotel room, held him hostage, and then superglued himself to himself. And in case you didn’t hear, you can read all about it.

Really? I mean…. really? First of all, I guess I am a jaded (I prefer REAL) individual, because I am totally not surprised that a dude was cheating on one woman with three others. I mean, not that I expect it or anything but I must hear two or three stories of infidelity a day, so… yeah. Okay? You find out your dude is sleeping around with more than one other chick and go a lil off the deep end.

My feeling is that I would have to be some kind of crazy to hatch a plan like this and go along with it. Sure, my girls and I would get some cheesecake or some chicken wings (different situations call for different foods!) and we’d sit down and hash it out and be mad and say all the things we wished we could do. But then we would build a bridge and get the Hell over it, dump him, move on, get our revenge by living well and all that good stuff. Lure a dude to a hotel, hold him hostage, GLUE HIMSELF TO HIMSELF?

Doing too much.

Because really, a dude that is creepin’ on you is not worth the brain power that it would take to come up with a plan like that. The muscle power used to exert such a plan would be a complete waste. Honestly? I’d rather waste that moving on. I’m sure they wanted closure, or wanted to make him pay, or some other really great, understandable but misguided reason. Do any of them really feel better? And do they think he learned his lesson? And now dude is in jail his OWN SELF? Boy, bye.

2. The Only Reason I Might Catch Jay Leno’s New Show

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I’m not saying the man isn’t a hot piece of vanilla sky, but contrary to what you might be thinking, though I have been ‘down with the swirl’ at times, I’m not checking for Mr NBC Nightly News.

I’m sure I don’t know what I am talking about, so someone please correct me– Jay Leno opted not to renew his contract with the Late Show, and so now we have been saddled with Conan O’Brien (the tallest man in TV, OMG) and Jimmy Fallon (insert mildly amused face HERE). But instead of riding off into the sunset straddling 2 or 3 of his classic cars, Jay is coming back to NBC. To host a late night show. Uhm… Okay.

I heard details on my fave local morning show, The Bert Show on Q100 and the details of the show are that Jay will have one or two celebrity guests, some pre-taped portions, he’ll continue the “jay-walking” segment, and Brian “I’m Way Too Funny For Network News” Williams will do a segment called ‘Stuff that wasn’t good enough to make it on the news“. Can I just set my TIVO to pick up that segment? Maybe it’ll be available on YouTube, because while I am not a huge Jay Leno fan, Brian Williams makes me scream in laughter. He really is that funny– to me. Keep in mind that I love milk commercials and I watch the Starbucks commercials over and over.

3. American Idol Jumps the Shark

I’m about to lose all the followers I never had because I”m about to yap about something I haven’t actually sat down to watch in years. However, not knowing what I am talking about has never stopped me from opening my mouth before, so here we go.

My thought is that this show has been ‘done’ for some time now, so much so that I’m surprised it has been renewed into oblivion, and people keep getting raises. I’m not sure that this show succeeds at prepping the artists they bring out of obscurity into the limelight for what life is really like as a recording artist. Like most reality TV, AI is about exposure and advertising– for both the artist and for the network. Personally I feel like this is at the expense of any talent or true ability- there are people who have made the Top Ten that I don’t even GET. Sanjaya, anyone? HORRIBLE. Of the Idols that have won, few are still under the recording contract they won or signed. I daresay the runner-ups have had better careers than the winners.

And really, you’ll never be able to convince me that AI is not, to some extent, manipulated by the network and/or producers. Yes, I do think votes count– I don’t think that they’re 100% the pendulum that swings for a contestant as to whether they stay or go, and whether they win or not.

ANYWAY, this week Paula Abdul announced she will not be returning for the 812th season of American Idol. It seems to me that it will be really strange without Paula. She was the only bona-fide popstar on the show, with the unique perspective of having been where these artists are going (yeah, I know, Randy was in Journey, but… not the same). And I’m sure Kara is doing…an okay job, but maybe Paula feels– because I feel– like Kara was supposed to push her out, or something. AI did not need a 4th judge, and if they’re going to have a 4th judge, make it a revolving spot and let a current music artist give these contestants advice. Further, raises for Randy, Simon and RYAN (RYAN?!?) and not for Paula, or not as large for Paula, sucks. It speaks volumes of disrespect and showed Paula exactly what Fox and 19E think of her. I don’t blame her for moving on. I wish her the absolute best.

I heard this morning that Nigel Lithgow offered Paula a position as a judge and choreographer on So You Think You Can Dance. Go. Girl. Getting back to her dance roots will be great for her. She will bounce back, land on her feet, and maybe dance with cartoon cats again. *shrug*

*skips off, singing Opposites Attract*

Curvy Jones is a northerner playing a southerner who is living, working, playing in metro Atlanta.