Posts from — December 2009

Courtesy Getty Images

There’s something about the image of a champagne bottle popping that makes me….nevermind.

So, it’s that time, again. December 31st. End of the year. That time when I look up at at the calendar and go ‘whaaaa? December 31st! Yesterday it was spring!? I’m not ready!’ But time goes on anyway, and I’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll be a new day of a new month of the first year of a new decade.

Blogs galore are galavanting through the last decade, remembering and celebrating and commisterating, noting how much different they were back then, or maybe how much they’re exactly the same, whether that’s good or bad. I’ve done my fair share of that in my head, and in conversation, but I haven’t felt led to do much of it here on the blog.

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Sometimes I just don’t like people. I just don’t. A lot of times it’s because sometimes things come out of their mouths that are so…………..mindboggling.

One of the blogs I follow through my handy dandy google reader is Lost in Brook Lynne. I love to read blogs by people who engage me, make me think without trying to sound smart or deep or introspective by spouting off things no one else understands. I recently found Brook and enjoy her posts and perspective. So, in her most recent post, entitled “I beg your pardon?” and I kinda have to agree. Really? Really.

She writes:

“I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship. … Neither Brad nor I have ever claimed that living together means being chained together. We make sure that we never restrict each other.” -Angelina Jolie.

Well, well, well. Let me find out, Miss Angelina. I won’t say if I agree or disagree, because I am not married, nor in an exclusive relationship. But, I will say, as of late, women are willing to do more and more to keep a relationship together. Including but not limited to, being more lenient with infidelity.

-blink blink-

Oh well, the quote makes it seem as though she is doing her thing too. So, in case you’re wondering how this glorious happy couple works, there you have it.

Scary, right?

(source)

Yeah. Scary isn’t quite the word for it. So, really… I could meet a man, have his kids, even adopt some kids with him and be totally happy… all I have to do to keep up the bliss is not marry him and give him the freedom to cheat? And I get to cheat, too?

BONUS!!! SIKE.

If that’s being happy in a relationship…. Singlehood, FTMFW.

Not only scary but really disheartening. More and more I’m afraid/convinced/100percentpositive that what I want (fidelity, loyalty, love unconditionally, best friend, all that) doesn’t exist. Not when this is out there and we let people think this is how people make it work. This is how happy couples survive. This is how it’s done.

Another of my fave couples, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are rumored to follow the same policy– open marriage. I just can’t… iCan’t. I’m a good sharer– of crayons and play dough and toys. Not of people. I’m selfish with people. Especially people I feel I could spend my life with. Everyday I am faced with something new that says, ‘sure he’ll be with you, but not just with YOU‘.

These things are getting hard to ignore.

Finderskeepers, No Takebacks, man.

(This post is long and mostly for me, so if you don’t want to read it, I’m not bothered by it. *sniff* So… just… skip over it to something happy. *glances over shoulder to see if you’re watching*)

MEH. That’s about how I’m feeling, right now. I was doing pretty good, until a few days ago, and now I’m all MEH.

Short story long, here’s what had happened:

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Season’s Eatings

Just like it’s not summer until I hear Summertime by Will Smith, It’s not Christmas until I hear some Nat King Cole, specifically The Christmas Song.  This song, the entire Christmas album, actually, reminds me so much of home. My dad has a vintage Reel to Reel system, and every Christmas he’d put on the Nat King Cole and we’d listen to the entire album while opening presents and having breakfast, talking and such. In later years we replaced it with the CD of Christmas songs from Nat King Cole and every year, like clockwork, it’s playing when I call.

Every year since 2004 I have opted to stay here in Georgia over Christmas. Travel across the country is too expensive (yes, I plan ahead. It’s just too expensive!), and winter is mighty cold in Spokane. And there isn’t much to do and I no longer remember how to drive in snow and ice. No matter how cold I think I it is here,  it’s always worse there, so I’m thankful.  But every Christmas I make sure to listen to some Nat King Cole and call my parents and wish them a  Merry Christmas. It just helps me to feel more like I’m at home.

And then I pig out. Kidding. No, I’m really not.   Here’s some Mr. Cole for your holiday. Enjoy, and Merry Christmas!

Years ago, when I decided to move to Atlanta, I had visions of mild winters. Endless sunny days, blistering heat, summers so hot the waves would emanate from the pavement. Pleasant autumn days, full of bursts of color and crisp, clean air. Winters that were near tropical in their warmth… light sweaters and jackets in December. I dreamt of such a thing every night when I went to bed, looking forward to the long drive to Georgia from Washington. It pushed me, spurred me on,  so to speak.

Yeah, so cut to every winter since 2003:

It is currently about 30 degrees in Atlanta. I walked out to go to work and my car was frosted over like an ice cube. Thankfully I don’t live far from work, because it took about 10 minutes of blowing hot air through the vents at the windshield to get it clear enough to drive. Soon after, the windows were de-iced and I was on my way. Most of the body of the car was still frosty when I pulled into work.I refuse to buy an ice scraper. Because that would mean that this kind of thing is normal and expected and something I should be prepared for.

I am unamused, at this.

This is the south, home of ridiculously hot weather. We’re supposed to be able to brag about how warm it is while other states freeze. I heard from KFlo that it was 37 degrees in Houston. That’s just insane, to me!

Now look. I know other people have it worse. And that’s them. I do feel for them, because it’s COLD HERE. It matters because it’s not SUPPOSED to be COLD HERE!  *shiver*

So, I’m off to locate a gallon of hot chocolate and heat it to lava temperatures and suck it down like my life depends on it. Because it just might. IT’S COLD HERE!

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,

It is Sunday night. It is that time on Sunday night when I reflect upon my weekend in the dread of returning to work after having two full days off.

I had grand plans, this weekend. GRAND. I was going to attend a party on Saturday, and get together with a friend today. I was going to leave the house and be social, to see and be seen. To eat and to drink and to be merry.

I could make this a short entry by just saying… that didn’t happen. But this is a blog and in some ways I need to be entertaining, even if to myself, so uh… what had happened was…

Friday night it was raining… and not just raining but freezing rain. I stayed home, I ordered in, I “hunkered down” with my laptop and twitter and facebook and IM and the remote and some wings and just chilled. It was fun. But before I knew it, it was about 2am. Which meant I’d wake up late the next morning. Normally not a problem, except that I planned to write on Saturday… waking up late means not a lot of time to get myself situated and get going, in the right mind. I am the pickiest writer I know.

So, I left the alarm on. It’s set for 6:30 on weekdays. 6:30 is not torture if you WANT to get up at that time. So the alarm went off Saturday and I just really could not be bothered. I turned it off, rolled over, and went back to sleep until about 11. I didn’t really move until 1 or 2, because I was hungry. Went and got some coffee and such and came back. And then remembered I was supposed to be at a party at 5:00.

I just didn’t go. I hadn’t even really thought about that party all week. I actually kept forgetting I had one to go to. Had to keep reminding myself. I had nothing to wear, and my hair would have taken at least an hour to look decent. It was cold and still rainy and blah. I stayed home, in my warm house. I will hear it, Monday. I don’t care.

Today I decided I was going to start the day right. Woke up and opened a book I’ve been trying to finish for months. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever read was from Stephen King. He says, in paraphrase, that writers read. Writers who feel like they don’t need to read are wrong. Writers read, and they read in the genre they want to write in most of all. I fail at this, miserably. So instead of watching HGTV, I read, and finished John Grisham’s ‘The Associate’. Really good read, if you like Grisham. His last few books have been kind of off, for me, but this one made me feel like Grisham was back. High amount of detail, highly technical and suspenseful, and he handles multiple story lines that all twist into one big monster really well.

Once I finished my book, I threw on some clothes and ran to the store. And by run to the store, I mean spend another $30 at CVS. I swear I own part of CVS… I go there way too often. I got some cleaning supplies, stuff to eat for dinner, and came home. Made some lunch, ate it… and then the post lunch, my-body-knows-it’s-Sunday-afternoon nods show up. I try to fight them, but I am useless to resist them. On top of that, something about lunch doesn’t sit right, and I am just feeling worn out for no apparent reason.

The friend I was supposed to meet calls me about a half hour into my nap. Uhmmmm… there is no way I am going anywhere. I know this. So I begged off. We are meeting tomorrow. And I am going straight from work. Because if I don’t, and I come home first????

Another Social Life fail for the kid.

I’m trying to figure out what it is about Winter that makes me so dang tired. Is my heat up too high? Is it just the lack of sunlight? I do suffer from S.A.D, but I don’t feel sad. I just sleep A LOT, and I feel like I need more sleep in Winter than Summer. Man, I will be glad to get to Spring!

It is Holiday Week, and yay. This means a low workload, and hopefully only 2.5 days of work for the rest of the year. This delights me immensely. I’m so ready for my break.

I have grand plans. GRAND.

Friday 5 for December 18: Wrapping

It’s that time again, Blog! YAY!

1. Last laugh?

2. What do you love?

3. Gold or silver?

4. Who do you hold hands with?

5. Friday fill-in:
There’s no time to ____.

As always, I’ll answer in the comments. Answer in your own thread, or in the comments!

Have a great Friday!

PS, I know I’ve only posted ONE of my favorite things…. I picked the wrong week to start doing that. I’ll catch up on the weekend and next week. I can’t wait to talk about the things I love.

Every year, around this time, gift giving is at the top of mind. Mine, yours, everyone.  I participate in a Secret Santa exchange every year, in which someone draws your name and gets you a gift, but they can’t ask you what you want because they’ll be found out. Hence the name SECRET SANTA, not ‘I drew your name, whatcha want‘ Santa. So in order to make it easier on our santas, we often do quizzes and surveys, in the hopes that our Santa is reading what we write and some grand idea will pop into her (cause really, it’s usually a ‘her’ that’s shopping) head and she’ll get us something fabulous.

In filling out these surveys and quizzes, it has forced me to try to name things I like. And not just things I like, because most things I like, I’ll buy for myself, but things I LOVE and would LOVE to get as a gift. I don’t know if I’m just not that self aware, but it’s sometimes hard for me to name things I like. I usually sift through Amazon, randomly clicking on things that make me go ‘oooooooooooooh’ until I have a reasonable list of things I would love to unwrap on Christmas morning. In thinking these thoughts, and surfing Amazon, I’ve come up with an idea to blog about my favorite things… mostly because I’m paying to keep this blog up and running and if I don’t blog, I am going to cancel the hosting.

SO. BLOGGING.

Thing Ten, and these are in no particular order, is Pilot Dr Grip Gel Ink pens.

I almost never use anything but gel ink, but when I’m living large, I’m using a Dr Grip. This pen is smooth, so smooth. The barrel is just the right size, the ink writes evenly without ‘scratching’… that is, you can’t ‘hear’ someone writing, like you can with a fine tip pen. The sound grates on my LAST nerve, not to mention the feeling. I am sensory sensitive person. The vibration of a fine tip on paper sends a shiver down my spine. Can’t do it.

Anyway, these pens are my favorite because of three things:

1. Long ink life– I’ve had a Dr Grip last years without needing a refill.
2. Comfort Grip- makes those long meetings where I have to take notes that much more comfy. No burning fingers or indents in my ring finger from the pen.
3. Smooth, classy look- I hate a cheap pen. Hate. Those flimsy bic things drive me nuts. It also retracts, which I also love. It doesn’t have a cap, which means I won’t lose the cap and have to throw the pen away. Oh, yeah… I cannot own a pen that does not have a lid. A matching lid. No lid? No likey.

My favorite pen colors are blue and black. If I need it, red. I do not want pink,purple, orange, green, or any other weird color of ink. Or car, by the way. But ink. Black or blue. Red for correction. I don’t care how kids feel about red. I need a stark contrast and my feelings aren’t hurt and I’m not depressed about my own shortcomings by looking at red ink. *shrugs*

So, that was Thing 10! Stay tuned for Thing 9! Do you have a favorite writing utensil? Do you prefer pencil? Dixon Ticonderoga, or mechanical? Do you use a quill and a bottle of ink? Blood? Tell me about it!

used without permission from flickr.com

Oh, Blog. I am home.

I am home from Holiday Partay Number One. I……………..did not want to go.

I really debated with myself as to if I was actually going to go. Around 3:00 I laid down for a nap, so I could be awake and alert. At 6:00 I woke up and did. not. want. to. leave. the house! I sat here till about 7:00 and made myself get up and get dressed. I have a sheer, frilly Apple Bottoms blouse that I wore awhile back when some friends were here. Put it on and a tank under it, some dark jeans and heeled boots. Then I happened to be checking my hair in the mirror, and it turns out that blouse has a huge rip in it.

WOW. I was so close to not noticing it and embarrassing myself.

So I changed. And did my hair and my makeup and found my earrings and got in the car and got to the party. It’s an annual thing, all of boss’s friends, Our CIO, CFO, and the infamous VP of Sales as well as the CEO of one of our subsidiaries. Everyone’s in black… I’m in like.. maroon. Everyone’s wearing slacks and dresses. I’m in jeans.

I don’t really give a rip. Lol.

I had been there about an hour, schmoozing and nursing a diet coke (YAY they had soda, and this yummy funkychunky popcorn drizzled with chocolate and mixed with nuts stuff… OMG. CRACK.) and they start handing out assignments for the 12 Days of Christmas. What’s funny about this is most people have been there since 7. There’s food and drink and music. Executives + Open bar = drunk by 9. So the 12 Days of Christmas with drunk people is actually kind of funny. They hand out each verse to the song so whoever has, you know… however many maids a milking (I’m too lazy to ask Al Gore’s Internet) gets to sing that part. Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive Golden Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings!

Then one of the partygoers and I got into a chat about last year’s party. She and a friend got a lil tipsy and decided to find out which floor Elton John lived on. So they pressed every button in the elevator until they found it. Walked around up there (there’s a vestibule before you get to the actual front door). He has a lot of art and it’s painted a weird grayish color. Those Brits. ;)

So it was fun. Not a rager, but I’m glad I ventured out, if only for a few hours. Now I am home and warm and in bed, munching on some Cheetos and having a Sunkist, waiting to watch my favorite show right now, Criminal Minds. Have you see this show? UGH! If you’re into CSI and the like, check it out. Faaaaaavorite and yes that is Thomas Gibson from Darma and Greg! He does a fabulous job as Hotch. I also enjoy Shemar Moore as Morgan and Matthew Gubler as Reid and Mandy Patinkin as Jason Gideon. I miss him. Joe Mantegna does nothing for me.

Okay, I’m done rambling. You’d think I had a drink or something.

Before I go, I’ve decided that in order to make myself blog, I am going to make a list of 10 of my favorite things and write about them. That oughta be FUN, huh? Yeah.

It’s a MUSIC Edition! ( I always answer in the comments)

iTunes Five

1. What song do you play the most?
2. What song do you play the least?
3. What’s the last song you added?
4. What’s your favorite playlist?
5. What kind of iPod (or MP3 player) do you have?

Hello World!

I’m here! I’ve been recovering from the Month of Writing Dangerously, aka NaNoWriMo. You know, sleeping, showering, eating, doing anything BUT writing. It’s been good and fun. Funny thing is, I’m kind of itching to get back to writing. I just sort of don’t want to look at my manuscript right now.

I am suddenly a social butterfly, it would seem. Odd. I’m kind of a loner. I have invites to two parties and my friend Kary is coming to visit in a couple of weeks. I’ve actually never met Kary, I only know her online. We’ve talked for a long time and share a love of the same band. Plus she is supercool supergood people and lots of fun, so I’m REALLY excited to be meeting her.

So, -this Saturday is Holiday Party #1- My boss’ Annual Holiday Bash. I don’t want to go. But I am making myself go. I know I will have fun once I get there. His wife is a delightful woman, I really enjoy her. So I’ll go and stay a few hours at least. My boss lives in the same building that Janet Jackson and Elton John have condos in. So, yeah slightly upscale.

Party #2 is not until the 13th and should be less fancy.  I mean, kids will be in the basement. It is my CFO’s Annual Party. I have been promised good food. Looking forward to THAT!

I often find that it isn’t that I’m anti-social… it’s that I party differently than others. I don’t really drink much, because I’m always driving. Party Hosts often assume everyone is drinking and rarely have juice or diet soda available. Which leaves me to bring my own. How lame do I look, walking around with a six pack of diet cherry Pepsi? Hmmm. I think both parties will turn out fine.

Not to mention, I am kind of shy. I KNOW! You’d never guess, huh? I’m socially awkward, I was never really taught how to be sociable. A good time for me is hanging out in the corner, watching people, waiting until I feel like I ‘know’ some people before jumping in. I like for people to ‘get to know me’ before meeting me. It takes the pressure off and I can be myself.  This is why I LOVED online dating. Until I met every freak, weirdo, scam artist and pansy who didn’t know what he wanted so he thought he’d drag me along for the ride while he figured it out.

OY.

Also in my world, I haven’t done any Christmas shopping. And I’m starting to stress out about it! It’s not that I don’t have the money, I just don’t want to shop. I’m not quite in the spirit yet. I’m going to see if I can drum some up over the weekend. I have Secret Santas and nephews to get gifts for. And MYSELF! MYSELF needs a gift!

This year I am hoping to get me a big-dang-TV and surround sound system. We’ll see. It’s a lot of money that I’m kind of not willing to spend on myself. But I know I will enjoy it once I have it. So I should just bite the bullet and do it. Huh?

Meh.

Is it vacation time, yet?