Posts from — March 2009

Q: What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

A: The first job when I came to Atlanta was the worst job I’ve ever had. I used to work for a commercial audio design, installation and service company. It’s something I did in Podunk after I left radio and when I moved to Atlanta I reached out to our Association and landed a job in the same industry.

First of all, Washington does not have income tax, so I instantly lost $4K off of my whopping $27K salary. Dude was a tyrant about things like internet use, but the thing is that there wasn’t enough to do to fill the hours in the day. He wanted me to be doing things like organizing the warehouse and sweeping the office in my down time, but I was also his exec assistant so I’m in slacks and blouses and skirts and heels… BLOW ME.

I call him my ASSBOSS ;cause he was an ass– leaving there felt like leaving an abusive relationship. My second week there, I got a flat tire due some construction debris around the condo I lived in. So I called and said I’d be late, because my car was way up north and I worked SOUTH. I got to work and had the NASTIEST voice mail I’ve ever received in my life, about how he wasn’t going to stand for these kinds of things and multiple absences won’t be tolerated and I’m not getting over on him and I’d better watch myself, etc. I’m standing there listening to the voicemail like ‘wtf??’ He also managed the network–and I use the word network loosely. All of the system icons were lined up around the perimeter of the computer screen and you COULD NOT MOVE THEM. He even recorded my outgoing voicemail message and I couldn’t change it.

He was hypoglycemic ( or just stone cold nuts) so everyday around 2pm he was an absolute BEAR. Our lead tech, bless his heart, showed me the trick of giving him some of those Lance crackers and a Coke when he got like that, and close his office door. When his blood sugar dropped, he got evil.

I could tell stories all day, like when he let one of his techs call me, continuously all day, cursing me out. He’d call, start screaming, I’d hang up. I don’t have to listen to that. He’d call back, start screaming, I’d hang up. It really pissed him off. He should have been fired, on the spot, for that. Wasn’t. Whatever.

The the kicker was when I got a new job and I was finally leaving and I tried to do the right thing by giving two week’s notice and offered to train my replacement. This is the kind of guy he is– the day after I gave my notice, he went out of town for a meeting, and I came into the office to:

1) Being locked out of all of the programs I use for work. What was I supposed to do, all day?

2) No internet at ALL, even though the spec sheets I needed for sending a parts list to purchasing are all found online. Mind you, he had already deleted the email program off of my machine because he said I ‘sent too much email’ after I responded to an email he sent to ME witha confirm that I got it and will take care of it. ‘You don’t need to email me from across the goddamn HALL. GET UP and come talk to me, goddammit!’ Friggen LOON.

I left at noon that day and never looked back. I used to have nightmares that I was still at that job. It was THE SUCK.

If you’ve ever been to Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta, and you see the choreographed water works show and hear the guy talking about the history of Atlanta and what not– the waterworks show is his BABY. The voice? His. I can’t even go down there. It gives me nightmares.

About Joe Bob Cadillac’s STIMULUS PACKAGE Car sale or Susie Ann’s Cosmetics BAILOUT Lipgloss Sale I am going to SCREAM.

LOUD. And BITE people.

I’m not a doom and gloom kind of person. I’m not. I won’t be uttering the word Depression anytime soon and I only say ‘We’re In a Recession’ when I’m joking. Truly. Perhaps that’s some head-in-the-sandness, but whatevs. It’s how I deal. So, I’m not intensely negative about the economy,

HOWEVER… People are losing jobs and homes and health care and retirement funds. It is a scary time, for America.

NOW isn’t quite the time to be capitalizing on it. Have a sale, go ahead. Someone has some money, somewhere. They’ll buy your stuff. STOP using those terms to sell your crap!!!

It PISSES me off.

…because all I did was wear my hear down today instead of up in a bun, and put on powder and lip gloss and I got so many compliments. I don’t even think I looked all that good, really.

Eff them, man. Eff them and their compliments.

Q: The boogeyman, global thermonuclear war, being forced to eat broccoli—there’s a lot to be afraid of when you’re a kid. What was your biggest childhood fear?

A: I used to always be afraid of things under the bed, like getting out of bed, I was afraid that something would reach out and grab me. I’m kind of still afraid of the toilet, *lmao*

Q: When you’re stuck in a boring class or meeting, what’s your favorite way to keep yourself entertained (or at least from falling asleep)?

A: We’re terrible about Blackberries in meetings. I try to keep mine on me, and if I don’t have that I have my iPod touch because I can forward documents to myself and bring up up via email, without having to have printouts, and I can also send reminders to myself.

Okay and play Tetris while sales and ops has an argument over an account update.

I just saw this commercial. It is of the good.

1. Luda is growing facial hair. gggggrrrrrooooooowwwwwwwwllllllll…

2. I missed Luda on Jimmy Fallon.

3. DAAAAAAAAMN Luda is short.

And actually, Jimmy is….. Yeah I’ll be nice tonight.

I need to go to bed.

Q: What recently developed technology—cell phones, wi-fi, laptops, handheld gaming devices, etc.—do you think has had the worst influence on how people behave in public?
A: Cell phones, for sure. Because without them, I wouldn’t be forced to listen to a one sided argument some lady is having with her man about something or other, all loud, in public. We hear snippets of people’s lives all day, everyday, just by listening to people’s phone convos. Remember when personal life was ‘personal’?

OMFG. The Kindle App for the iPod touch– I have it. The app is free. I just have to buy the books.

*passes out*

I LOVE physical actual books but I never go to the bookstore. I’m SO excited. My list of books I want to read is SO long, and I don’t have any new books at all.

YAY! \o/

ETA: And its backlit. Weeeeeeeeeee!

Q: Do you ever go out to dinner (at a sit-down restaurant) by yourself?

A Yep. All the time. I take a good book and enjoy myself.

It’s usually great, but the waitstaff must think that person eating by themselvevs = lonely so they talk to me nonstop, asking every 32 seconds if the meal is good, if everything is fine. LEAVE ME ALONE, I’m trying to eat!

Certain places are social situations, but for the most part, I can go anywhere alone and eat. I had to get over that, very quickly, if I wanted to do anything outside of my house, since most of my friends don’t live here.

Q:  What’s on your list of dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships?

A: Smoking, excessive drinking, rude to waitstaff/servers/your mom/women in your life, misogynistic attitude, lack of ambition, children, MULTIPLE marriages, bad hygiene & lack of general care and grooming, incarceration, violence.

All that and probably more but I’d have to really think about it.

Q: Do you prefer texting or talking on the phone?

A:Neither. I want my text function turned off except for certain people and I have a well documented hate for the damn phone.

IM or Email is where it’s at, for me. I LOVE email.

So, last night, my ankle was ANGRY. Very swollen. I’ve been walking a LOT (without crutches), and yesterday I didn’t wear my brace and didn’t take my meds. On top of that I had to do some running around (bank, grocery store, potential new apartment complex (!!!) ) and it was just too much, on top of hobbling to and from the printer and down the hall and to and from the conference room and such.

This morning I could hardly stand on it, barely made it to the bathroom. Then when I was getting dressed I slid off of the bed and onto the floor. While I was down there I put my brace on. I am being a good girl today.

I was going to say something else and now I have forgotten it. Damn. My brain is Swiss cheese.

My boss : From a top- down perspective, I find this a challenging vertical, vis-a-vis a less performing model. Regarding the nomenclature, perhaps a qualitative analysis could be useful as to characterize the fiscal benefits of process improvement.

Action item, Dom, go ahead and drill down on that cell and expound upon the metrics in relation to the figures from previous years and then let’s put together a conference call and cull the pertinent points.

Me: ……………. Que?

Dear Majic 107.5,

First things first. MAJIC? Seriously? What doesn’t Magic Johnson own, and did you think you would just slide that right by us by changing the ‘g’ to a ‘j’? Clever.*

Secondly, your format is Urban AC. Urban Adult Contemporary. GOSPEL is not Urban AC. If I wanted to hear everyone’s mass choir sing ‘Jesus is Real’, I would go home and listen to my mom’s iPod.

Please to be playing some Kool & The Gang followed by MotownPhilly and Doin Da Butt. And if you could fit in some Skee-lo, I will get OUT of the car and dance. “I wish I was a little bit taller/ I wish I was a baller/ I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her” Good stuff, man. Play it!

Thanks.

* I’ve no proof that Magic owns the station. He just owns everything else, so. *shrug*. In an unrelated matter, he’s doing radio commercials for H&R Block. Interesting. The connection between NBA and Tax filing is just… so natural.