Curvy Jones on: McVibrator and a Side of Lube
Posted on March 9th, 2010 @ 9:08 AM

I had a boring post scheduled to run today about my personal spending getting out of control and how I find a way to spend money everyday. And also about how my laptop took a nosedive off of my countertop on Friday morning, so I was afraid I was going to have to shell out some funds for PC repair but everything seems okay except the sleeve I carry my laptop in has a broken zipper, and my power supply cable is frayed and I have to renew the tabs on my car and I was freaking out about it all (see Queen of Overreaction).

But I thought that post was boring so I trashed it. Aren’t you glad I didn’t post that?

Today is Tuesday, a day I jokingly call Fun Tuesday because it kind of isn’t. Tuesday is the day we have our weekly  staff conference call. All of the execs from our various centers call in and give a status on how things are going in their respective areas. I actually like the Tuesday call, I like even better the Quarterly Staff meetings, but the preparation sort of drives me insane. I usually just have a few hours to make my rounds with the staff, particularly a lovable curmudgeon of a Sales Manager who can’t use a computer to save his life, compile the reports, send them out and then prep for the meeting, which I run here in Atlanta from my laptop. I am a lowly cog in the wheel of this organization but when I am not here people act like they don’t know whether to scratch their watches or wind their butts. SIGH. Did I mention I love my job? :) My boss is pretty much the best, ever. Sometimes.

I had some random thoughts rolling through my head on the way to work, so in my “me time” before I start Fun Tuesday,  I jotted them down:

My dad leaves town tomorrow. It hasn’t been the hell I thought it would be, but I am ready for him to go. He called on Sunday with some nonense and ruined my good vibes. Sometimes he makes me want to throw things but the only items I have of value are my electronics and nooooo, not my babies!

I am glad I reconnected with my cousins and I am going to be spending some time with them in the near future. And my aunt is not doing well anyway so it’s important to be close and help out where needed. And my lil 2nd cousins are 16 yr old twins and oh so cute.

Is Daylight Savings this weekend? I thought I heard that. I’m sad about losing an hour of sleep (I freaking love sleeping) but I am so happy to be one step closer to my favorite time of year. Perhaps I will celebrate by brunching outdoors… after it stops raining.

Got some great news over the weekend! My sister-in-law (Big Mike’s wife) is pregnant and they found out on Friday that they are having a girl! I have two nephews, 8 and 2 (2 is Joe’s son, born a few months before he died. Except for the skin color, 2 looks exactly like him!). This is the first girl. I am so. excited. I now have to plan a strategory trip home so I can be there to meet my niece!

Got to get my hair done this weekend. And I want to shop, but I have tons of cute clothing in this size in my closet. So, no. But me and my pink trench? 2 Peas 1Pod. I’m just saying. It’s uber cute and it’s getting me lots of compliments. Some days in the office, I never take it off.

On March 15th I am going to try to get back into my New Life Friday groove. I want to be social and such this summer. I can’t do that when I feel like… meh I am not even going to go there. You know? Tired of saying bad things about myself.

This weekend on the way back to the south side, my dad and I passed the Hooters on Cobb Pkwy. I randomly laugh because he suggested we go there. Did I mention my dad is a Minister? I do so hope he was joking. Though, it reminds me of being back in Podunk– there is a store called Erotique Boutique across from the mall near our house. My mom drives by one day and says “That store has a drive thru window and it’s open 24 hours. What kind of erotic emergency could a person be having a 4am and need to go through the drive thru? What do you order there? A McVibrator and a Side of Lube?”

My mom, Ladies and Gentlemen.

With that, I have to get to work. Sales Dude will be calling in a few minutes and I need about 30 seconds of deep breathing to deal with him.


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Daily Grind
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Curvy Jones on: We Need More Lemon Pledge
Posted on March 8th, 2010 @ 9:53 AM

Weekend roundup– first off, how was YOURS?

Mine actually went okay. The Tour went fine, took all of ten minutes. Dad liked my place, said it was very nice. I don’t believe I cleaned and scrubbed and fluffed and shined and worried and shopped for a ten minute cursory overview. I am going to appoint myself the Queen of Overreacting. If ever you need someone to overreact to something, please consider my services. I overreact for cheap!

For the first time in my life, he had no criticism or ‘helpful ideas’, but then again that’s kind of my mom’s department. She’s nosy (where I get it from) and will scan a room and go ‘mmmhhhmmm…’ which means something but she won’t come right out and say she doesn’t like something. But nope, not dad. No offers to fix anything or paint anything or arrange anything, which was great. I didn’t want to go through the discomfort of declining and then later him holding it over my head when he wants something… ‘remember that time I did that thing for you? I need you to do something for me now.’ Nope. Leave it alone. I’ll do it myself.

We did have a slight snag. I arrived at my Aunt’s house on Saturday at 11:30am, which would have been perfect timing to drive 45 minutes north back to my place, have lunch, and then drive back down south for his nephew’s basketball game at 3pm.

Except no one was at the house. I rang the doorbell and knocked and rang the doorbell and knocked and nothing. So I get back in the car and call my dad. He answers. “What are you doing?,” I say, sounding irritated. “I’m outside the house, no one is answering the door.” I get a curt, surly, “Well if you would have been answering your phone, you’d know we took your Aunt D to the hospital this morning.”

Color me shocked, confused, and a little pissed off, because my phone has not rung all morning. I have no voicemail and no missed calls. “Just say right there,” he snapped. “Roz will drive me to the house.” And hangs up. I am left to fume inside my car at my Aunt’s house, thinking of the things I am going to do to his cell phone when he gets in the car. Dreams of snatching it from his hands and throwing it into the street and then running it over dance through my head. I already know what has happened. He is dialing the wrong number, again.

Cousin shows up, they both get out of her car and my dad has this stony expression on his face, his lip curled in irritation. This look used to send ice through my veins and make my butt go numb.  It almost has this effect on me as I watch him stomp toward my car, before I remember that I am just a few weeks shy of 36 and he can’t really hurt me anymore.

He opens my door and yells, “Girl, what is wrong with your phone?!?!” I reply, “Nothing’s wrong with my phone, I haven’t received any calls today!”  I show him the call log on Berry. NOTHING. He whips out his phone and dials my number and hands his phone to me and says, “The message says you’re not taking calls. I couldn’t reach you!”

I grab the phone, wishing I had the nerve to do what I really wanted to do with it, and glared at him over the display. “That’s not my phone number,” I growled at him. He blinks. Then his eyes close and he sighs and he knows, now, that he’s done it again. Dialed the wrong number. I punch up my actual number, saved in his phone with no name. “THIS is my phone number! If you’d called THIS number you would have reached me!”

I’ve never seen my dad look sheepish in all of his life. The look on his face as he ducked into the car and put on his seatbelt was priceless. Not that I enjoyed making a fool of him at all, but I felt good for not just cowering in his presence like I am 15 yrs old, which is what I normally do when he gets mad.  Growing up, I could get hit for just looking at him wrong. He demanded contrite obedience. We weren’t allowed to argue or talk back.

He apologized as I backed out of the driveway, and I accepted his apology and then said, “don’t let me near that phone, I might toss it out the window and run it over.” At which he laughed, and said he didn’t know I could go ghetto. I can’t, really, but I like for people to think I can.

I had planned to take Dad to lunch at Houston’s, one of my favorite places that was quick and close. Before I could open my mouth to tell him so, he declared that he wanted to eat lunch at Popeyes Chicken. I rarely, if ever, eat at Popeyes. In fact, when we went to dinner on Tuesday, I was all happy to take him to this cool place in Midtown but he seemed uncomfortable, like he would have been happier at Red Lobster. Except I don’t eat at Red Lobster. I may be becoming one of those Atlanta snobs that I hate so much. Damn!

So, because they don’t have Popeyes in Podunk, WA and he wanted some Popeyes Chicken,  I shrugged and directed the car north. There happens to be a restaurant mere minutes from my apartment.

Popeyes it is.


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Family · Home Sweet Home · Personal
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In Memoriam, and With Much Love
Posted on March 8th, 2010 @ 1:00 AM

Joe's Tree

We love you and miss you everyday.

September 8, 1985 to March 8, 2008

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. – Dr. Seuss


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Family · Personal
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Curvy Jones on: Vive La Difference!
Posted on March 5th, 2010 @ 9:17 AM

A few years ago, I was in a pretty dark place. Morale was low at Chez Jones. I was in a low paying job working for a man I HATED. I was behind on bills, including my car payment, and was worried everyday that the finance company would come and get it. I was living paycheck to paycheck, hand to mouth, trying to survive after deciding to move from Washington to Georgia. It was exciting at first, and then after the excitement waned, the culture shock set in. I was starting to think it was a mistake to move away from everything and everyone I knew to start over at the other end of the country.

One afternoon, I was sitting in my apartment, watching movies I’d rented from Blockbuster. I was bored, since I didn’t have cable (hence the movies, because otherwise my attention span is way too short for them). I wanted to go for a drive so I got up, slipped on a pair of shoes and got in the car.

I always went to the same place, a construction site a few minutes away. I would park and sit back and watch as building after building, balcony after balcony, terrace after terrace were built, brand new, from the ground up. After the complex was built, I’d sit and watch moving trucks pull in and out, imagining the people settling in and enjoying their wood floors and ceramic tile and new appliances and their pool and clubhouse. After I stopped acting creepy, I’d start the car and drive back to my craptastic apartment and sulk. I thought I’d never be able to afford to live there.

Years passed. I got another job. And then I got a raise. And then I switched to a different company in the same family of companies and got a 20% raise. Every day– or at least every few days, I’d drive past that complex and glance over at those apartments and *sigh*

My lease was expiring in yet another apartment of craptasticness, the apartment with the neighbors that worked in a bar or something because they came home in the middle of the night, every night and shook my walls with their sexcapades. Or their arguments. Or their socializing.  Not really impressive, because the walls were made of Kleenex and dust. I could hear my neighbor peeing.

Understandably, I wasn’t renewing my lease. I hate to move but I love a new apartment, and a review of my finances revealed that I could, in fact, afford to live where I really wanted to live.

In May of  2009, I finally bit the bullet and moved to the new complex down the road, the one I watched being built, the one I drove past and *sighed* at and dreamt about. And it was everything I ever dreamt it would be.

Well, except for the part where they gave me the wrong apartment first.  I took my tour in March. Picked out what I wanted. Waited and waited and waited for May to arrive. I was so excited about my hardwood floors! I am ridiculous about hardwoods– I never want wall to wall carpeting again, ever. I check in and get my keys and……….wall to wall carpeting.

It also wasn’t awesome when they didn’t have the apartment I wanted available, so I had to move my cable and utilities and belongings (still wrapped from the movers) into a temporary apartment, try not to get settled, and then move everything again six weeks later.  Did I mention that this apartment was one flight up, and this was just a few weeks after I fell down a flight of stairs and sprained my ankle? Good times.

But when I finally got into my new apartment, it was bliss. It has been bliss from day one.

I ended up at Target, last night. I hit a couple of stores, nothing was really inspiring, I had to get toilet tissue anyway and the bath dept at Walmart completely sucks, so I just went to Target. Spent exactly $101.24. See?  $100 Store!

I got most of my cleaning taken care of in a few hours, and  I realized, again, that I love my apartment, in it’s halfway-decorated-but-now-the guest-bath-has-a-rug-and-a towel-and-a-soap-dispenser-and-the-master-bath-has-a-new-shower-curtain loveliness.  Since things are sparkling and glittering and all in order, I was reminded of the things I coveted about this apartment, the things I would dream about when I sat in the parking lot and watched them being built– the gleaming wood floors, the garden tub, the spacious floor plan, the ginourmous patio, the new appliances (including Washer/Dryer) the Valet Trash service. The way I get SO much sun in every room, which is great for someone who needs sunshine to be happy, my full view of the pretty courtyard and the lush, green trees behind the complex.

Some refinement is needed tonight, but I’m not cleaning like the military is coming to inspect( even though my dad IS ex military, and our house was always spit-shine clean). I don’t need to impress him– I moved down here by myself and 7 years later, I am thriving. I’m going to show him my life as I live it, in a city that I love, in a place that I love and am proud to live in.

At least that is what I am going to be telling myself as I give my dad the tour of my place and tell him not to look in the closets.

Have a super Friday and a great weekend everybody! What are your weekend plans???


9 Comments
Family · Home Sweet Home · Personal
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Rockin’ the Red Pump!
Posted on March 5th, 2010 @ 8:50 AM

You’ll see a new banner over in my sidebar there—-> about the Red Pump Project. It is a movement to bring awareness to HIV/AIDS among women and young girls.  The Red Pump Project recently launched 500 in 50, a campaign to get 500 blogs to rock the red pump badge, so I joined in the effort and I invite my readers to do it too!

How? Visit this page and copy the embed link and read about how you can promote awareness on March 10, 2010! And spread the word!


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Daily Grind

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